Where My Demons Hide
by Slasher99
Summary: !Warning Slash Story! Destiel fanfic! Castiel is human and his pain and regrets are taking a toll on him, meanwhile Dean tries to figure out why Castiel is hurting, he may come to find a not so surprising answer and a not so unpleasant situation.
1. Suicidal Actions

_"Just one shot... And all of it will be gone"_ Said Castiel to himself, he had a gun pointed between his eyes, a drop of sweat ran from his forehead to his cheek _**"I can't"**_

Castiel put the gun down and lay on the floor; he stares at the grey and cold skies. He was on the top of a building, being human was hitting him harder than anything else hit him. _"What would Sam and Dean say?_" Thought Castiel closing his eyes, but the pain was there pulsing like a screaming furious crow.

_"They would tell me to carry on"_ A softy and sad smile appears in his face _"The Winchesters always carry on"_ Castiel laughs, maybe because of pain was so great that the tears didn't come out. His tears refused to give him relieve. He was feeling guilty, he was played and now; Castiel was alone, no Sam, no God, no brothers, and what hurt most, no Dean.

_"Why can I just give up?"_ Said him feeling his body goes numb as the snow was falling on him _"I wish I was brave enough to pull the trigger "_

The snow looked like little tears, melting on his coat_ "Why it hurt so badly?"_ Castiel knew the answer, being abandoned, being forsaken again was more than he could take, even so, he didn't pull the trigger. _"Why didn't I pull the trigger already?"_ Asked Castiel looking at the gun in the floor, the night was so dark he couldn't see it well; but he knew that the silver shinning on the cold steel was there, waiting for him.

_"I wish I could erase all my mistakes"_ Continued him feeling the cold snow beginning to accumulate on his body "_My brothers"_

The wind stopped, on the road above the cars drove slowly because of the ice. The dark and grey sky was unforgiving, more snow, white and cold. _"Dean"_ Whispered Castiel, like Dean used to when he prayed to him. But now Dean's prayers wouldn't reach his ears, he was human; and the human's pain was too much to bear, his soul was broken. _"Dean"_

He repeated like a prayer, was that the way it felt like to pray? Angels didn't have anyone to pray to, not anymore, God was gone. _"Dean"_ He repeated and his tears came down on his face, lightly freezing, Castiel felt the cold air becoming colder. His legs now were a little bit more number.

_"Take me away"_ He whispered to anyone out there, maybe he knew if he stayed on the cold for too long it would be his death. _"No more pain"_ Said Castiel smiling, he could feel the sense of relieve, a deep and comforting sleep. A sense of dying and being purified on the process took over his mind and body. It was death, cold and real… But not real as his pain.

* * *

_"Cas…"_ He heard a voice _"Cas"_ It was Dean, he was certain of it _"Cas… Are you ok?"_

_"D… Dean?"_ Replied Castiel; opening his eyes and finding him on a hospital bed _"Where am I?"_

_"Hospital, dude!"_ Replied Dean, in his eyes full of relieve Castiel found some relieve too _"You almost froze to death"_

_"I didn't mean to…"_ Said him confuse, lying now as so easy to him. How many lies did he tell until now? Castiel didn't know how he became a liar.

_"Cas…"_ Said Dean holding his hand, Dean's hands were warm. _"You need to be more careful"_

_"I'm… Sorry, Dean"_ He replied a little numb, but he could see clearly Dean's worried expression_. "I didn't meant to freeze"_ He lied again, he wanted to die. Why Dean didn't let him die? It was too much pain, too much.

_"Man, humans freeze and die… Got that?"_ Said Dean standing up and padding him on his shoulder

_"I'll try to remember that"_ He said sitting up _"Who brought me here and who called you?"_

_"Your boss called me"_ He said sitting on a chair close to the bed _"She was really worried"_

_"I need to talk to her"_ Said Castiel worried, did she take the gun? If so, she knew that he was about to kill himself.

_"Hang on, tiger"_ Said Dean smiling _"She isn't here, it's almost dawn"_

_"I'm sorry to keep you awake, Dean"_ Said He laying back again, blaming himself for bringing more pain to people around him; which made him wonder if he was in God's plan, if God had a plan for him at all.

_"It's ok, Cas"_ Said Dean smiling _"I wouldn't sleep anyway… How are you holding up?"_

_"I'm"_ For one second Castiel thought about telling Dean how much pain he was in, but Dean had already too much trouble. He didn't want to burden him further. _"Fine"_

_"That's good, considering you almost become a Popsicle"_ Said Dean smiling, Castiel smiled too while looking at his eyes, the green in Dean's eyes were brighter every day. Castiel wondered how he keeps on with so much pain. Dean was different, even Sam broke into pieces, but Dean was strong in a way even he didn't know it. _"Hun…Cas"_

_"Yes?"_

_"If you can't come back to heavens… What would you do?"_ Asked Dean scratching the top of his head, Castiel breathed deeply and smiled

_"I never thought about it"_ He continued _"There's nothing here for me, Dean"_

_"There's us"_ Said Dean trying to cheer him up _"Me and Sammy can train you, you can become a hunter"_

_"I don't know if that is wise, Dean"_ Said Castiel smiling sadly

_"Why is that?"_

_"I brought you too much pain already"_

_"Cas…"_ Said Dean looking into his eyes _"It was worth the pain"_

_"I don't know what to say"_ Said Castiel smiling _"Thank you, Dean"_


	2. Reality Check

_"You've been avoiding me all day long, Steve"_ Said his boss; she sat on a chair behind the counter, Castiel smiled

_"I don't know what you are talking about"_ He said smiling again, but she knew about his suicide attempt

_"You know what I'm talking about"_ She whispered as she walked towards the door to close the shop

_"It's about yesterday?"_ He asked trying to fake being clueless

_"Yes, Steve… What a hell was that?"_ She continued closing the door and turning to face him

_"I was… Confused"_ Said Castiel with shame in his face_ "I never meant to cause any trouble"_

_"That's not the answer Steve"_ She continued resting her hands on his shoulders _"Suicide is never the answer"_

_"You don't know what it feels like"_

_"What it feels to be so depressed and worthless that you want to die?"_ Said she smiling sadly, Castiel surprised face made her smile_ "I attempted suicide too… Long before my baby was born"_

_"Why?"_ Asked Castiel in a shy way _"If you don't mind me asking"_

_"I was depressed, unemployed and my husband was travelling"_ She continued sitting on a chair_ "I felt so much pain, I just loved him so much to be away from him"_

Castiel pulled a chair and sat looking at her face, while she wiped a stubborn tear of the corner of her eye

_"He suffered an accident and the thought of not having him with me make me suffer"_

_"What made you want to live?"_ Asked Castiel smiling empathetic

_"He wouldn't want that"_ She replied smiling _"What kept you from pulling the trigger?"_

_"I… Don't know"_ Said Castiel looking away _"I wasn't brave enough"_

_"What about Dean?"_ She asked watching Castiel's surprised expression _"Is he your boyfriend?"_

_"N-No"_ Replied Castiel blushing, it was an absurd idea _"Dean is just a friend"_

_"He was worried about you"_ She continued smiling and nodding _"I get that he care a lot about you"_

_"Y-Yes…"_ Stammered Castiel _"He's like family to me"_

_"So you love him, don't you?"_ Asked she smiling, Castiel blushed and stood up to look away _"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to pry"_

_"No it's ok"_ Said Castiel embarrassed _"I just… Never thought about Dean in that way"_

_"Well…"_ Said she opening the door_ "He sure looks like he loves you"_ She left through the door, and Castiel smiled…A question rose in his mind, was because of Dean he didn't pull the trigger?

* * *

_"What's up Cas?"_ Said Dean over the phone, Castiel was laid on his sleeping bag in the storage room

_"Dean?!"_ He replied confused, it was late night, but he didn't mind to talk with him

_"Oh, I'm sorry…"_ Dean continued _"I just woke you up right?"_

_"No, it's ok"_ Said Castiel smiling, he wanted somehow to hear Dean's voice again

_"So are you unfrozen?"_

_"Yes…I'm, Dean"_ Replied Castiel confused, Castiel was human, but he didn't get any jokes, mainly Dean's jokes

_"I'm sorry for leaving you, Cas…"_ Continued Dean in sad tone _"But I needed to keep an eye on Sammy"_

_"I understand Dean"_ Said Castiel looking at the ceiling _"You've been a good friend to me, thank you"_

_"Hun… You are welcome"_ Replied Dean a little bit happier, after a long second he continued _"I wish you were here, with us"_

_"Me too"_ Said Castiel covering himself

_"I'm sorry for not telling you why, Cas"_ Castiel interrupted him

_"It's ok, Dean, I trust you"_ Dean smiled while parking his impala; Castiel could hear the engine stopping _"Aren't you tired?"_

_"I can't sleep"_ Replied Dean running his hand thought his face

_"Why?"_ Asked Castiel in a curious tone, for him sleeping was the only thing that came easily

_"I've had too many things on my mind"_ Said Dean in low tone _"Too many things"_

_"I wish I could help you…"_ Said Castiel smiling sadly again _"Like before"_

_"I wish you could too"_ Replied Dean sad _"I miss you… I mean, Sam and I miss you"_

Castiel laughed softly that was a different side of Dean he didn't see until now _"I miss you too, Dean"_

_"And how are things with your boss?"_

_"She is comprehensive… But…"_

_"But… What?"_ Asked Dean a little suspicious

_"She was under the impression that we were… Hun… together"_ Said Castiel laughing

_"Did she?"_ Laughed Dean embarrassed _"Why would she think that?"_

_"I don't know"_ Lied Castiel, he knew that Dean and him had something, an especial friendship. _"Isn't that crazy?"_

_"Totally"_ Said Dean trying to hide something, Castiel smiled, he knew Dean was trying to hide something from him, but he had no idea what would that be. _"What did you tell her?"_

_"The truth"_

_"The whole truth?"_

_"No, Dean"_ Said Castiel laughing softly _"She would think I'm insane if I did"_

_"So you lied to her?"_

_"No, I told her we were like family"_ Said Castiel; he waited for a reply that didn't come _"Aren't we?"_

_"Yes… Cas"_ Said Dean embarrassed _"Like Family"_


	3. Meant To Be

_"How is Cas doing?"_ Asked Sam eating a tofu plate

_"Good"_ Said Dean making a disgusted face at the tofu _"What a heck is that dude?"_

_"Tofu"_ Said Sam eating it _"Want some?"_

_"No"_ Said Dean searching for something in the icebox _"Thanks"_

_"There's no pie in there"_ Said Sam cheerfully

_"I know smartass"_ Said Dean grabbing a beer and sitting in a chair facing Sam _"I was worried_" Continued he drinking a sip of the beer

_"About Cas?"_ Asked Sam raising an eyebrow _"I thought you said he could take care of himself"_

_"I lied OK Sammy"_ Replied Dean in angry tone_ "We know that Cas is a big baby…. He almost froze to death for God's sake!"_

_"What?"_ Asked Sam worried _"What happened?!"_

_"He slept outside and almost froze to death"_ Said Dean after another sip of beer _"His boss called me"_

_"So that call was about that, right?"_ Asked Sam finishing his tofu

_"Yes"_ Continued Dean resting his face on the table _"But he is ok now"_

_"I don't get it"_ Said Sam standing up and picking up his plate _"Why isn't he here with us?"_

_"He told he needs to learn how to take care of himself, Sammy"_ Lied Dean, knowing that the truth could kill his brother, he didn't want to choose between Castiel and Sam. He wouldn't choose. _"You know it"_

_"He is stubborn"_ Said Sam doing the dishes _"Like you"_

_"I'm not stubborn!"_ Protested Dean drinking the rest of his beer

_"See?"_ Said Sam laughing

_"Bitch!"_ Teased Dean

_"Jerk!"_ Replied Sam smiling, both laughed _"It's been a while we don't have those moments"_

_"I know"_ Said Dean smiling and laying back on his chair _"Good times for a change, right?"_

_"I wouldn't say so"_ Laughed Sam _"We have Crowley in our dungeon, demons and angels fighting outside and no clue of how to undo it"_

_"But"_ Said Dean smiling _"We have a home"_

_"Yeah, a home"_ Said Sam sadly

_"Come on dude!"_ Said Dean standing up _"This time nothing bad will happen to us"_

_"I don't know Dean"_ Continued Sam _"I'm just… afraid"_

_"No matter what will happen…"_ Said Dean cheerfully _"We'll handle it"_

* * *

Castiel cleaned the ice-cream machine, the bathroom and the whole place. It was a normal day, except that his boss spend the whole day giving him "cute" smiles, something told him that she was thinking about him and Dean.

_"Good work, Steve"_ Said she giving him a sandwich in a plate _"sit down and let's talk"_

_"But I have to organize the magazines yet"_ Replied Castiel embarrassed, he didn't want to talk about Dean with her

_"Lunch Hour"_ Said she turning the little sign on the door to closed, Castiel smiled and sat with his sandwich

_"Thank you"_ Replied him taking a bite on the sandwich

_"Did you talk to him?"_ Asked she with a smile on her face

_"Yes"_ Said Castiel after swallowing _"Last night"_

_"You spend the night with him?!"_ Asked she excited

_"Yes… I mean NO!"_ Said Castiel in panic _"We talked over the phone"_

_"So you guys talked the whole night?"_ Asked she happy

_"Yes, he was having trouble to fall asleep"_ Continued Castiel, for him it was all too natural, he used to check up on Dean when he slept.

_"He couldn't sleep, because you weren't there with him?"_ Asked she mischievous

_"Yes"_ Said Castiel innocently _"I mean, no"_

_"So what you guys talked about that took the whole night?"_

_"About the past, the better days"_

_"How long did you guys know each other?"_

_"A long time, too long maybe"_

_"You are so mysterious, Steve… Now all of the blue this cute guy shows up and is worried about you, it makes me curious"_

_"It shouldn't, I'm just a normal and common man"_

_"A normal man that was a **'special friend'**"_ Said she cheerfully

_"Yes, Dean and I… Share a profound bound"_ Said Castiel while finishing up his sandwich

_"So you love him?"_ Asked her making Castiel choke on the sandwich, Castiel coughed and swallowed it _"Well, I guess that is a yes"_ Continued she laughing softly, Castiel knew now that his boss is a Destiel shipper; why would someone think that him and Dean had something, was beyond Castiel comprehension.

_"Cas… what is going on with you?"_ Asked Dean to himself, he was looking at his cellphone ready to dial Castiel's number again. _"I know that someone just don't sleep outside, even you Cas"_

* * *

Dean closes his eyes and rests his cellphone on his chest_ "Did you tried to kill yourself?"_ Dean was sad because he knew that was true, Castiel couldn't hide anything from him. But why was he so sad? Was he in pain? Depressed? Dean wanted to know, wanted to somehow fix him, but how could he? His cellphone rings and its Castiel.

_"Cas, what is up?"_ Dean answer it happily, he wanted to talk with Castiel

_"I just wanted to talk"_ Said Castiel in a sad tone _"You know…I can't sleep…Tonight"_

_"I see"_ Said Dean smiling _"too many things in your mind, hun?"_

_"Hun, no"_ Said Castiel in a low tone _"I just can't sleep"_

_"I see, being human is giving you any trouble?"_ Asked Dean looking at the ceiling

_"Yes, don't you even get tired of so many emotions, Dean?"_

_"Yeah, but we can't turn it off"_ Replied Dean _"Sorry I can't really explain it to you"_

_"It's ok Dean"_ Said Castiel after a pause _"I appreciate you trying"_

_"Cas…"_ Continued Dean after a long pause_ "What made you change your mind that day, you know, the apocalypse day; in that beautiful room?"_

_"You"_ Said Castiel smiling_ "You gave me hope, Dean"_

_"Thank you, Cas"_ Said Dean smiling _"For trusting in me that day"_

_"You trusted me too"_ Replied Castiel in a calm manner _"Even when I let you down, I'm sorry Dean"_

_"Don't be, Cas"_ Replied Dean closing his eyes _"All that matters is that we are here now"_

_"Dean?"_ Said Castiel to fill the silence in the conversation

_"Cas?"_

_"Why didn't you just decide to leave me…On the purgatory?"_

_"I couldn't…"_ Said Dean a little troubled by the very thought of it _"I would never leave you alone, Cas… You are my friend"_

_"Thank you, Dean… I know I don't deserve your friendship, but I'll work to earn it"_

_"You don't have to, Cas"_ Said Dean after a pause _"You are one of best things that happened to me, I'm glad you are the one that saved me… you know, from hell"_

_"I'm glad that I could rescue you too, Dean"_ Laughed Castiel softly_ "Maybe it was meant to be… I mean you and me were meant to find each other"_

_"Meant to be, that's… Nice Cas"_ Said Dean smiling, it made sense that the angel that saved him was saved by him. Maybe they were meant to meet and be friends, it felt so natural be close to Cas as it felt to be close to Sam.


	4. Holding On For A Hero

_"Morning Steve"_ Said Nora smiling, Castiel smiled awkwardly at his boss. He was embarrassed still with the thought he had about Dean, he was up almost all night again; Which made him wonder if Dean felt something for him, something beyond friendship.

_"Good Morning"_ He replied trying to hide his face away while organizing the magazines

_"You look tired"_ She continued turning the sign to 'open' on the glass door _"Up all night again?"_

_"Hun, y-yes"_ Stammered Castiel thinking about how it looked like evidence to Nora's suspicious thoughts

_"Dean, again?"_ Asked she mischievous

_"Yes, we talked"_

_"You should date him"_ Said she teasing Castiel that blushed lightly and dropped some water bottles on the floor_ "Easy there, isn't like you never dated someone before right?"_

_"Hun"_ Said Castiel picking up the bottles nervously

_"You never dated before!"_ Said Nora realizing it with a shine in her eyes _"We should go shopping and I can give you tips!"_

"Nora, no!" Said Castiel nervous "I appreciate you trying to help me, but I'm not sure about it"

_"Come on, Steve"_ Continued she smiling _"That guy was all over you, you needed to see him watching you sleep"_

_"Did he watch over me?"_ Asked Castiel curious, Dean never mentioned that in his talks.

_"Yes, when I arrived at the hospital he was holding your hand…"_ Continued she smiling _"He was so worried, like if you were made of glass or something"_

_"Did he say something to you… About me?"_ Asked Castiel with a strange feeling on his belly, he was curious and happy; Dean always thought it was creepy to watch over him. But he watched over Castiel, it made Castiel think and feel different about Dean.

_"He didn't have to"_ She continued sorting out the cigarette packs on the counter _"The way he looked at you, said it all… Also he kissed your hand, I found it… Cute"_

Castiel blushed reddish and smiled softly; Dean felt something for him; but how to talk to him about it? What to say? What to do? It was all too confusing _"So… You said something about shopping and tips?"_

Nora smiled wide and embraced Castiel _"Let's call it a day, Steve"_

* * *

_"Sammy, I'm being serious here!"_ Repeated Dean drinking a beer, Sam laughed while pouring milk into his cereal bowl

_"Well"_ Said Sam laughing _"It looks like it… I guess"_

_"What do you mean by that Dude!?"_ Said Dean freaked out

_"Dean, you and Cas have history… You guys are close, I guess it makes sense"_

_"That is… disgusting dude!"_ Said Dean drinking more beer _"Why would Cas and I be together?"_

_"I don't know"_ Said Sam laughing _"Why wouldn't you and he be together?"_

_"Because, for starters, he is a dude"_

_"I don't remember that stopping you before"_

_"I never had something with any guy"_

_"So are you considering it, Dean?"_ Mocked Sam, Dean made an angry face and let it go

_"Cas is just a friend to me"_ He continued after grabbing another beer

_"You don't have to convince me, Dean"_ Laughed Sam taking his keys out of his pocket _"I'm out to grab some grub"_

Sam left and Dean sat on the couch, he wanted to call Castiel again. _'Why?'_ He thought '_Why I want to talk with him again? Have I become too much attached to Cas? Or I'm just worried? That is normal right?'_

* * *

_"How do I look?"_ Asked Castiel dressed like Jimmy used to, he even got a new trench coat on

_"Like a hero from a comic magazine?"_ Said Nora laughing _"But, you got some charm with his trench coat on"_

_"I wish I kept mine when Dean gave it back to me"_ Said Castiel looking in the mirror

_"So Dean gave you a trench coat?"_ Asked Nora curious and a little "fan girly" about it

_"No, he gave back my trench coat"_ Said Castiel innocently, he didn't know what that expression on Nora's face was, but she looked like someone that just found a puppy on the sideboard.

_"That is extremely cute!"_ She shouted embracing Castiel_ "He is so in love with you!"_

_"No"_ Said Castiel trying to clear things up _"He just felt concerned about me"_

_"Concerned enough to keep a piece of your wardrobe… That rings me a bell"_

_"Why are you doing this, Nora?"_ Asked Castiel looking at her with sincere eyes, it made her smile and shy away from his gaze

_"Because I want you to be happy… Like I was"_

_"Thank you"_ Said Castiel smiling, Nora took a hat and placed on Castiel's head

_"Now you look like a superhero"_ She laughed _"Are you going to save Dean?"_

_"I'm just human, Nora"_ said Castiel sadly

_"Most heroes are just human, but they fight"_

_"Like Dean?"_ Whispered Castiel, Nora heard and embraced him again

_"So Dean is a hero, hun?"_

_"I guess, he is"_ Said Castiel smiling softly, in a way Dean was a hero; He didn't have any powers, nothing, but resilience and will to make things better; Despite his flaws Dean was a hero Castiel trusted him with his hope, a beacon of light in his purgatory

_"So you are his sidekick?"_ Asked Nora laughing

_"Sidekick?"_ Asked Castiel curious

_"Yes, like Batman and Robin… You know right?"_ Asked Nora messing with his tie

_"Oh… Yeah"_ Lied Castiel, he didn't have any idea who were this people _"Batman and Robin"_

_"Or maybe like Captain America and Bucky"_ Continued she smiling, Castiel continued pretending that he knew who were those people_ "No sex in the first date, Steve!"_

_"S-sex!?"_ Said Castiel scared, Nora laughed

_"Yes, I know he would jump you in the first opportunity he had"_ Continued she taking his hat off _"I know his type"_

"His Type?!" Asked Castiel confused

_"You know those handsome and self-confident guys with daddy issues… Or mother issues"_

_"What about them?"_

_"They think you are easy, then you'll have to play hard to get"_ Said She winking at Castiel that bushed

_"But I don't even know for sure that Dean likes me, I don't even know if I like him in that way"_

_"You don't have to"_ Continued she _"Just call him up and ask him out"_

_"But that doesn't make sense"_

_"When it comes to love it never does"_ Castiel smiled, it sounded true enough for him, he could talk to Dean about it _'if he didn't feel the same?'_ Thought Castiel with a bit of fear coming down his throat _"And furthermore, you'll know for sure, trust me, Steve"_


	5. Why Did You Kiss Me?

_"That's it Cas… I'm worried about Sammy"_ Continued Dean over the phone _"He got this idea that something bad is about to happen"_

_"He went through a lot, Dean"_ Said Castiel trying to find words to comfort Dean _"Give him time"_

_"You are right, Cas"_ Replied Dean yawning, it was late night already, the time passed by so fast while they were talking that Castiel almost forgot the meaning of his call

_"Dean?"_ Asked Castiel nervously

_"Yes?"_ Replied Dean with a suspicious tone

_"Can we meet and talk… one of those days?"_ Said Castiel embarrassed _"If you aren't busy…"_

_"Yeah, that's looks like a good idea"_ Replied Dean smiling, he was laid on his bed looking at the ceiling again _"Tomorrow?"_

_"Y-yes"_ Stammered Castiel _"On the diner close to the store?"_

_"I'll come by morning to pick you up, Cas"_ Said Dean yawning again

_"That would be great"_ Said Castiel happily _"You are getting sleepy, sorry to keep you up"_

_"That's all right, Cas"_ Said Dean after a softly laugh _"I don't mind spending time with you… I never did"_

_"Dean… Why are you so good to me?"_ Said Castiel softly

_"I don't know… I just feel close to you"_ Said Dean smiling _"It's feels natural, don't you think?"_

_"Yeah"_ Replied Castiel fluffing his pillows _"I feel just the same"_

_"Cas….?"_

_"Dean?"_

_"I…"_

_"Yes?"_

_"I'm…"_

_"…?"_

_"I'm sleepy, I'm hanging up now"_

_"See you tomorrow, Dean"_

_"See you, Cas"_ Said Dean hanging up _'did Cas just asked me out? Did I just say yes? No, Cas would never ask me out… Would he?'_ Dean laughed about it, He knew Castiel just wanted to spend some time with him, it has been a while they didn't hang out, surely Castiel just missed to talk to him personally. Right?

Castiel smiled while hanging up his cellphone, he couldn't believe that he just asked Dean out, not properly out, but it was a kind of meeting not a date. Even so, Castiel was happy; he cherished this feeling with a wide smile. He was happy because he finally would take his time and talk with Dean about everything; it was good to take his mind off his pain. For a brief moment his pain gave place to another feeling, a feeling of inner peace.

* * *

_"Nora"_ Said Castiel in a shy manner _"Can I have this day off?"_

_"Why?"_ Asked her clueless _"Is something wrong?"_

_"No, Dean and I are going out"_ Nora smiled widely and hugged him

_"Of Course Steve"_ She continued _"But remember, be hard to get"_ Castiel blushed slightly with a panic expression, but before he could say a thing Dean came through the door.

_"Cas- Steve!"_ Said he smiling _"Let's go?"_ Nora nodded to Castiel that smiled and followed Dean to his impala; Castiel could swear that he heard Nora saying how cute they were together. Dean heard too, but he just smiled and turned the engine on, Castiel sat by his side, none talked; it was ten minutes of smiles and staring, nothing needed to be said.

When both arrived at the diner, Dean ordered a hamburger and French fries, while Castiel ordered eggs and bacon with a cup of orange juice. Dean smiled and looked through the window.

_"How is Sam doing?"_ Said Castiel breaking the silence, Dean just kept looking through the window

_"He is getting better"_ Continued Dean after turning his gaze to Castiel's eyes _"And how about you?"_

_"I'm fine, Dean"_ Replied Castiel with a shy smile

_"Cut it out, Cas"_ Said Dean with his eyes in defiance, Castiel forced a patient smile _"I know Cas."_

_"Know what? Dean?"_ Asked Castiel confused

_"You suicide attempt"_ Said Dean angry _"What a hell were you thinking, Dude?!"_

_"I was…"_ Said Castiel struggling for words _"Hurting inside… Dean"_

_"Are you still hurting?"_ Asked Dean holding Castiel's hand on the table, now concerned _"Are you Cas?"_

_"No"_ Said Castiel a little relieved, but he was lying, he was hurting, but not so much _"I mean, yes… But not that much"_

_"Cas, I know it's been crazy and all…"_ Continued Dean lightly squeezing his hand _"But I'm here for you… Don't try anything stupid without talking to me, man!"_

Castiel smiled and a single tear ran to his chin, Dean caught it with the tip of his fingers and dried with a napkin _"I'm here buddy"_ He continued while smiling, Castiel smiled too. The waitress brought their plates and Dean let go of his hand, after she turned and left, a silence took place; Dean bit his hamburger and Castiel cut his bacon strips.

_"Thank you, Dean…"_ Said Castiel breaking the silence with his eyes on his plate; as if he could hide his feelings behind the bacon strips and scrambled eggs _"I really appreciate that"_

_"Anytime"_ Replied Dean with his mouth full, Castiel laughed and Dean smiled. Sometimes Dean could behave so childish, Castiel didn't mind it; actually he liked when Dean behaved like himself and not like a reflection of his father.

Both finished eating, after a pause Dean kept staring at the skies; Castiel smiled like a child and watched Dean in silence, admiring his eyes and the curve under his mouth.

_"When you were an angel…"_ Said Dean in a calm manner _"Did you used to watch me like this?"_

_"Hun… I… It's complicated, Dean"_ Said Castiel embarrassed turning his eyes to the skies too, but Dean knew he was watching him with the corner of his eyes still.

_"So, why you still do?"_ Continued Dean smiling _"You know, watch over me?"_

_"I guess is an old habit"_ Said Castiel turning his eyes to Dean's face again, Dean smiled shy like he used to do when he was really glad _"That I don't want to get rid of"_

_"I'm glad, Cas"_ Said Dean looking at Castiel's eyes again_ "Glad that you choose us over Crowley's idea to gank us"_

_"I would never hurt you, Dean"_ Said Castiel smiling _"I'm sorry, I just remembered I did it… I never meant to do it"_

_"I know, Cas"_ Replied Dean placing his hand on Castiel's shoulder and looking deep into his eyes _"All that matters is that we are together now"_

Castiel closed his eyes and Held Dean's hand on his shoulder, Dean knew what that meant; it was thank you, but not only a simple thank you; It was silent gratitude the kind of doesn't need any explanation.

* * *

_"What a Hell Cas!"_ Said Dean turning away from Castiel and walking towards a bench in the park, it was night time; Castiel was too embarrassed to talk.

_"What did I do?"_ Asked Castiel after a pause, Dean looked at him again and sat on the bench

_"N-nothing"_ Said Dean embarrassed, Castiel was confused they were walking close to the bay on this park, and all of sudden Dean got close to him and kissed his cheek; Castiel tried hard to remember what he said, what he was talking about; but nothing came to his mind.

_"Why did you kiss me?"_ Asked Castiel confuse now looking down on Dean while he hid his face with his hands

_"I don't know ok?"_ Shouted Dean standing up and pacing around a big statue, Castiel stood there with a confused expression_ "I just… Can we forget that?"_

_"Dean"_ Said Castiel grabbing him by his shoulders and stopping him _"Calm down"_

Dean looked at Castiel's face, at his lips and felt the warmth of his hand on his shoulders; He smiled embarrassed again and everything made sense for both of them. Castiel asked Dean if he ever felt something more than friendship for him, and Dean just kissed his cheek; It wasn't a sexual act, He was just curious. Castiel's face went red and Dean smiled his 'sorry' smile.

_"Do you like me?"_ Asked Castiel looking deep into Dean's eyes _"Please Dean, tell me truth… I deserve this much"_

_"Y-yes"_ Stammered Dean like a little boy, he looked so fragile; Castiel embraced him and rested his chin on Dean's shoulder _"Do you like me?"_ Asked Dean in a fretting tone, afraid of rejection.

_"Yes"_ Said Castiel in confident tone, Dean wrapped his arms around Castiel's body and breathed out relieved _"its ok, Dean… You are safe now"_

_"I must look like a fool"_ Whispered Dean with a sad smile _"Acting like a child, kissing you and having those furious moments"_

_"We are just human, right?"_ Replied Castiel lifting Dean's chin up, Dean smiled and as his face got close to Castiel's mouth his hand walked up to Castiel's shoulder, until their lips touched; Afraid and shy at first, but passionate after a second. Castiel got some space between then and smiled. _"Am I the only one that thinks that is inappropriate?"_

_"Why?"_ Asked Dean getting close again

_"Dean, you are a hunter… and I'm not even an angel anymore"_ Said Castiel getting some space between them again.

"So what?" Asked Dean turning his back and looking at the sky _"It doesn't change what I feel"_

_"It doesn't"_ Said Castiel looking at Dean's back _"But I can't be with you, it would make things harder for both of us"_

_"Why is that?"_ Asked Dean turning around, Castiel could see pain in his eyes

_"I'll make you suffer, I'll put you in danger, Dean"_ Said Castiel angry_ "I'll hurt you again, not only you but your brother too, don't you understand that there will be suffering for all of us?"_

_"To hell with that!"_ Shouted Dean holding Castiel's arms _"To hell with suffering, if it means to have you then I take it all, Cas!"_

_"Dean"_ Whispered Castiel, but Dean interrupted him with a gently kiss under the dark skies.


	6. The Confession

_"Why the long face?"_ Asked Nora behind the counter, it was morning and Castiel was cleaning the floor

_"Nothing"_ Said Castiel in a sad and low tone, Nora smiled trying to sympathize with him

_"Something must have happened"_ Continued she standing there _"Did something happened between you and Dean?"_

_"He kissed me… Three times…"_ Said Castiel upset

_"Was it so bad?"_ Laughed Nora

_"No, it was great…"_

_"So why you are upset?"_ Asked Nora curious, Castiel stood up and breathed deeply

_"It won't work"_ Said Castiel in a sad tone _"I'm not good for him"_

_"Woah!"_ Said Nora padding Castiel's shoulder _"Don't be so hard on yourself; you know that's not true!"_

_"You don't know me Nora"_ Continued Castiel sadder _"I've done terrible things in the past, I've brought pain and suffering to so many lives"_

_"Steve, it doesn't matter who you were…"_ Replied Nora embracing him _"But who you are now"_

_"I just wanted to be forgiven, Nora"_ Whispered Castiel, thinking how it was his fault that angels were on earth and he was useless to help

_"Then forgive yourself first"_ Replied she _"Did you guys broke up?"_

_"No, Dean told me he wouldn't give up on me"_ Continued Castiel with a smile, he felt this strange hope, that somehow Dean would find a way to heal his pain; to get him some forgiveness.

_"See, he loves you even knowing what you did"_ Continued Nora _"Isn't that great?"_

* * *

_"Dean, what is wrong dude?"_ Said Sam standing on the kitchen where Dean had finished his 20th bottle of beer

_"Nozzzthing, Sammy"_ Said Dean drunk happy _"I'm allll fineeeeee"_

_"Dean, you are drunk like a Scottish hobo"_ Said Sam putting the empty beer bottles on the trash can

_"I'm living, Sammyyyy"_ He continued smiling _"I just went outzzzz, withzzzzz Cassss… It was fuuuuun"_

_"Dean, I'll make you some black coffee"_ Said Sam putting some water to boil in a pan _"I've never seem you so drunk"_

_"Becauseeeeee…. I did something new todayyyyy"_ Said Dean laughing, after a minute he slept with his head on the table, Sam smiled and shook his head.

_"Dean?"_ Whispered Sam to check if he was really sleeping, Dean didn't reply to him. Sam smiled, Dean's cellphone rang; quickly Sam picked it up

_"Hello?"_

_"Sam?!"_

_"Cas?!"_

_"Hun, Yes… Is Dean there?"_ Said Castiel in a shy manner

_"No, he is too drunk to answer"_ Said Sam while sitting on the couch in the living room _"He drunk until he passed out"_

_"Oh, that is bad"_ Said Castiel worried _"Is he going to be ok?"_

_"Yeah, he will"_ Said Sam resting his feet on the coffee table _"He went through worse, believe me"_

_"That's good to hear"_ Castiel breathed relieve and Sam smiled, it was funny how Castiel used to worry so much about Dean

_"And you Cas, how are things?"_

_"I'm getting used to being human"_

_"That's nice"_ Said Sam checking up on Dean

_"Cas… Don't leave me…"_ Whispered Dean while sleeping, Sam smiled and wondered what was Dean dreaming about and why he drunk that much

_"I'm worried about your brother, Sam"_ Said Castiel in a serious tone_ "He is always pretending he is strong, but there's something off about him lately"_

_"I know what you mean"_ Whispered Sam away from Dean that was still sleeping _"He seems to be hiding something from me"_

_"Hun…"_ Said Castiel embarrassed, maybe Dean was just hiding how he felt about him

_"Do you know anything about that Cas?"_ Asked Sam suspicious

_"N-no! Why would I?"_ Replied Castiel in panic _"Dean is your brother after all"_

_"But you spent the whole day with him yesterday"_ Continued Sam _"Didn't he tell you nothing?"_

_"No, he just talked about the past"_ Said Castiel struggling to not tell Sam about the kisses and all of that

_"I should ask him, when he wakes up"_ Said Sam conformed _"Thanks Cas"_

* * *

_"I know everything Dean"_ said Sam sitting on the couch while Dean walked with his biggest hang out ever, Dean looked at Sam's face and laughed

_"Nice try, Sammy"_ Continued him pouring some coffee _"Even with this hell of a hangover I don't fall for that trick"_

_"I thought it would be worthy trying"_ Said Sam smiling, Dean raised the corner of his mouth and his right eyebrow

_"What you want to know Sammy?_" Said Dean sitting on a chair and drinking the coffee

_"What is going on, Dean?"_ Said Sam while sitting in a chair facing Dean

_"Nothing"_

_"I'm not dumb, Dean"_ Continued Sam _"There's a whole pie in the icebox and you didn't even touched it"_

_"That doesn't prove anything"_

_"It's your favorite!"_

_"I wasn't hungry"_

_"You are always hungry!"_ Said Sam crossing his arms, Dean rested his forehead on the table to help with the pain

_"I kissed Cas"_ He said it like he was saying he wanted another beer or any other thing

_**"You WHAT?"**_ Shouted Sam making Dean's head hurt

_"Sammy, my head hurts Dammit!"_

_"Dean, you kissed Cas… Why?"_ Asked Sam confused, but not surprised

_"Why do you kiss somebody, Sammy?"_ Asked Dean looking at Sam's expression _"Because I like him, I said it, ok… Now will you leave me alone?"_

_"I thought you said you didn't like… dudes"_

_"I don't… But Cas is an exception, I just can't wrap my head around it either"_

_"So, did he kiss you back?"_

_"Yes, he did"_ Said Dean angry _"And if he liked? I think so"_

_"I'm sorry, I was curious"_ Said Sam laughing

_"Yeah, go ahead, laugh about it"_ Continued Dean drinking more coffee _"I'm not proud of kissing him"_

_"I'm cool with that, Dean"_ Said Sam padding Dean's shoulder _"I mean, if you like him and he likes you, then it's ok"_

_"He doesn't want me… I think"_ Said Dean resting his head on the table again

_"Did he tell you exactly that, Dean?"_ Asked Sam curious

_"No, he just said it wasn't a good idea"_

_"And what did you said?"_

_"That I wouldn't give up on him… And I won't"_

_"Then don't, Dean"_ Said Sam leaving the kitchen

_"Thank you, Sammy_" Whispered Dean after Sam left the room.


	7. Love, And Leave?

"_No, Dean"_ Moaned Castiel against the wall in the storage room, it was a cold night

_"Cas… Just be quiet"_ Whispered Dean kissing Castiel's neck and holding his collar with both hands

_"Dean, **NO**!"_ Said Castiel pushing him away _"What are you doing here?"_

_"I came to see you"_ He replied softly with a smile on his face, he hid himself in the storage room and waited for Castiel after the shop closed _"I knew you would come to sleep"_

_"What did I tell you yesterday?"_ Asked Castiel trying to calm down, it wasn't every day that Dean would jump on him by surprise; it made him feel like he was desecrating his boss workplace.

_"What did **I TELL YOU** yesterday?"_ Asked Dean pulling Castiel close to him, touching his chin lightly, he smiled wolfish.

_"Dean"_ Said Castiel nervously, But Dean just smiled and held him by his waist _"Dean_" Repeated Castiel pushing him away again _"I know how you feel, but can you see that it will end up badly?"_

_"It already ended up badly, Cas"_ Continued Dean angry _"Don't you want me?"_

_"That's not the point"_ Shouted Castiel _"How can you be so stubborn?"_

_"You are stubborn!"_ Replied Dean holding Castiel's collar again, pressing him against the wall and kissing his lips lightly _"Don't you see how much I want you, Cas?"_

_"Dean"_ Whispered Castiel in a sad tone _"Don't kiss me again… Please"_

_"Cas"_ Replied Dean embracing him, feeling his smell and resting his nose on Castiel's neck _"If I kiss you again, I won't be able to stop"_

Castiel smiled and closed his eyes, how everything came to this so fast? It was bound to end up badly. Despite of that he embraced Dean back and kissed Dean's chin lightly, an innocent kiss like a child's kiss.

_"Why do you keep coming back Dean?"_ He whispered sadly _"I have nothing to give to you"_

_"Then let me give myself to you"_ Replied Dean whispering with a smile _"I just want to be close to you, Cas… I need you"_

_"Dean, I can't promise you I'll be good for you"_ Replied Castiel looking away his hand placed under Dean's chin; Dean smiled and kissed Castiel's cheek

_"I don't need you to be good…"_ He continued softly _"I need you to be mine, Cas"_

_"Dean"_ Said Castiel, but he was interrupted by Dean's cellphone that rang

_"I need to get that"_ Said Dean looking at Castiel's face for approval, he nodded and Dean picked it up _"Hello"_

_"Dean, where are you man?"_

_"Sammy, I'm with Cas"_ Replied Dean walking away from Castiel curious gaze

_"Did you tell him?"_

_"No, not yet… We had some stuff to talk about first"_

_"Are you kissing him already!?"_ Laughed Sam, Dean blushed in silence

_"Shut up"_

_"When will tell him?"_

_"When time comes"_

_"Dean, if he finds out by himself he'll be pissed at you"_

_"Don't you think I know, Sammy?"_ Whispered Dean _"He isn't ready trust me"_

_"Ok, Dean, have it your way…"_ Said Sam hanging up, Dean turned and faced Castiel's confused expression

_"Sam?"_ He asked

_"Yes, it was Sammy"_

_"You looked worried on the phone"_

_"It's nothing, I'll handle it"_

* * *

_"Have you been all day long with Cas?"_ Asked Sam reading a book on the couch, Dean just arrived, it was late night

_"Kind of"_ Said Dean embarrassed taking his boots off and sitting in the other corner of the couch _"it's complicated… Sammy"_

_"Are you two together now?_" Asked Sam closing his book and watching Dean's reaction, Dean smiled a shy smile, which gave away his answer _"Do you think that is wise?"_

_"Do I look stupid?"_ Asked Dean a little upset _"Why people keep telling me that?"_

_"So Cas told that too, right?"_

_"Yes, he still not found of the idea"_ Said Dean laying back and resting his feet on the coffee table

_"You know it makes sense, right?"_ Asked Sam cautious, Dean crossed his arms and made an angry expression

_"You and Cas are wrong about that"_ He continued _"I won't let him go, Sammy"_

_"You know that being with Cas also means putting him in danger"_ Continued Sam

_"I know…"_

_"So you don't care?"_

_"I care, Sammy…"_ Continued Dean in calm manner_ "I care a lot, that's why I'm with him to make sure he is safe and sound… Go ahead; tell me it's a stupid thing to do"_

_"No, actually I agree with you on that one"_ Said Sam opening his book and reading again _"Beside you would ignore me anyway, and you will convince Cas that is a good idea eventually"_

_"Are we ok, then?"_

_"We are ok, Dean"_ Dean smiled and closed his eyes, now he just needed to convince Castiel to say yes. Maybe that would be the most difficult part or the easier; anyway Dean felt confident about it; it was a good way to finish the day.

* * *

_"You look Happy"_ Said Nora surprised while Castiel placed some boxes on the counter whistling

_"Do I?"_ Asked Castiel smiling, Nora smiled back

_"Yes, I thought you and Dean didn't happen"_

_"We talked again yesterday"_ Continued Castiel in a calm manner _"He told me… Hun… That he needs me"_

_"That's great!"_ Said Nora happily _"Are you guys together now?"_

_"I don't know, we never talked about being in a relationship"_

_"You should, did you had sex?"_

_"No"_ Said Castiel embarrassed _"We just kissed"_

_"Good"_ Continued Nora _"But you should eventually"_

_"I don't know what to do next"_ Said Castiel embarrassed again; Nora embraced him with a big smile

_"Well, enjoy it"_ She continued _"Keep it simple, if you want just to be with him then do it…"_

_"Nora"_ Whispered Castiel _"Thank you for helping me out"_

_"You welcome"_

_"I mean it, thank you"_


	8. Another Destiel Shipper

_"Dean"_ Said Castiel over the phone Dean was on his bed, it was another sleepless night _"You can't sleep tonight either, Can you?"_

_"No, I can't…"_ Said Dean embarrassed, actually the only thing he wanted was to hear Castiel's voice again _"Its harder since you left"_

_"It's been hard for me too"_ Whispered Castiel, Dean smiled like a child _"Being away from you makes things harder, Dean"_

_"One day we can be together, Cas"_ Said Dean closing his eyes_ "Maybe live in a house by the sea, with a white picket fence and a garden"_ Castiel laughed softly

_"I didn't know you liked these things"_ Continued Castiel smiling _"You know this apple pie life"_

_"I like you, Cas"_ Said Dean smiling again thinking how great all this could be, for the first time he realized why Sam wanted to be normal _"If you like it, I'll like it too"_

_"A nice house by the sea would be… Great"_ Said Castiel in a boyish way that made Dean laugh cheerfully _"But wouldn't you miss hurting?"_

_"Maybe"_ Replied Dean opening his eyes and looking at the ceiling _"But I would have you, that's enough for me, Cas"_

_"I can't imagine you having a normal job… "_

_"Neither, Can I"_

_"I don't want you to change for me, Dean"_

_"Too late, Cas"_ Continued Dean after a laugh _"I've changed too much already"_

_"Since when?"_ Asked Castiel curious

_"Since I began to pray for your safety instead of praying to you"_ Continued Dean in a calm way, he could feel that Castiel was speechless_ "Since I realized how much I need you, Cas"_

_"I need you too"_ Said Castiel in shy way, Dean laughed softly _"I mean it, Dean"_

_"I know"_ Continued Dean _"I just want to embrace you again, I feel like seeing you every day, but I can't, that hurts me so much, Cas"_

_"You can always call, Dean"_ Said Castiel trying to comfort Dean _"I'm always here for you, I've always been"_

_"I know, I just feel like our time is getting short"_

_"There's always be time for us after all this is over, Dean"_ Whispered Castiel almost feeling asleep

_"Cas?"_ Asked Dean, but Castiel was already asleep, Dean smiled while listening to Castiel's breathing _"I love you"_ he whispered to Castiel and hanged up the phone; Dean breathed in and smiled, it was good to talk to Castiel until he fell asleep. It was the first time he did it and it felt good, did Castiel felt that way too?

* * *

_"Now that Crowley is working with us, maybe he can find something to help, Cas"_ Said Sam pilling some book on the table, Kevin left to eat something; Dean was trying to not sleep over the books he was trying to read.

_"You know what he said Sammy, it's a permanent spell"_ Replied Dean tossing the book away

_"Then you should talk with Crowley, see if you can squeeze any more info out of him"_ Said Sam with his eyes on the book, Dean stood up and went to the dungeon; Crowley smiled when Dean placed a chair face to him and sat down.

_"How is the moose doing, squirrel?"_ Dean made an angry face and Crowley laughed _"What can I do for you? Tea perhaps?"_

_"Funny"_ Replied Dean _"Do You know a way to get Cas's mojo back?"_

_"Maybe, what I get from that?"_ Said Crowley curious

_"What you want?"_

_"Walk around, my legs hurt"_

_"Info first"_

_"No Deal, if you want your boyfriend's powers back you'll let me walk around"_

_"He is not my boyfriend!"_

_"I can feel Castiel's smell all over you, Dean"_ Laughed Crowley _"Have you been kissing him?"_

_"You son of a bitch!"_ Said Dean upset_ "Ok, I'll let you walk"_ Continued him taking the chains of Crowley's leg off _"Walk and talk"_

_"A question first"_ Said Crowley walking slowly _"How is Castiel's kisses like? I've always wonder how good kisser he is."_

_"That's none of your business"_ Replied Dean sitting on the chair again

_"Touchy!"_ Laughed Crowley _"Is he that good?"_

_"Yes he is"_ Said Dean smiling wolfish, Crowley made a serious face and continued

_"You could go back into heavens and steal his grace back"_

_"How do I do that?"_ Asked Dean curious

_"I don't know, even if you die… I don't think you'll end up on heaven Dean"_ Laughed Crowley _"So you guys are really together then?"_

_"I won't talk to you about it"_

_"You already are, Dean"_ Continued Crowley smiling_ "Come on! I get why you would like him… Castiel is nice enough, or at least his meat suit is"_

_"Shut up"_

_"I've always known Cas liked Blondes" _He continued teasing Dean _"But I didn't know he liked guys with daddy issues"_

_"I should've bound your tongue too"_ Replied Dean

_"Oh, He speaks"_ Laughed Crowley _"But you two make a nice couple, Destiel right?"_

_"Are you jealous, Crowley"_ Teased Dean _"That Cas's is with me?"_

_"Don't flatter yourself, Dean"_ Laughed Crowley _"I would rather be with a moose than be with a squirrel"_

_"I see you like it tall"_ Mocked Dean

_"No I like it mature, like your friend Bobb Singer"_ Teased Crowley back with a know it all face, Dean made an angry expression again

_"If you don't shut up I'll make you, Crowley"_

_"Ok, Ok"_ Said Crowley with his palms up _"I'll stop"_

_"Good"_

_"But I have to ask, did you sleep with him?"_ Dean made an angrier Face _"I gather that you didn't then, never mind… I'll just be… Quiet now"_


	9. Bait And Switch

_"Did you get any info out of him?"_ Asked Sam while Dean sat on the chair facing him in the library

_"No"_ Said Dean angry _"Nothing that could help us"_

_"Are you ok?"_

_"I-it's nothing, Sammy"_ He continued opening a book and reading, Sam looked at Dean's expression and sighed

_"Did Crowley get you upset?"_

_"He is just an ass, Sammy, I don't want to talk about it"_

_"Ok, then"_ Said Sam turning his eyes to his book again

_"What is so funny about Cas and me together?"_ Said Dean throwing the book away like a upset child _"There's nothing funny about it!"_

_"Dean, he was just messing up with you"_ Continued Sam with his eyes on the book _"That's the only fun he'll have for a while"_

_"We should gank him already, Crowley extended his usefulness already"_ Continued Dean standing up and walking to the kitchen

_"He still needs to translate the table for us"_ Continued Sammy, Dean muttered something and came back with a place with a sandwich on it

_"After that we should bound his tongue and bury him alive, Sammy"_ Said Dean with his mouth full

_"Dude, don't speak with your mouth full"_ Dean swallowed it and smiled, it was nice to piss Sam off a bit _"What was so nasty that Crowley told you that bothered you so much anyway?"_

_"N-Nothing"_ Stammered Dean biting the sandwich again

_"It was to do with Cas?"_ Said Sam looking now at Dean that just remained silent _"Never mind"_ Continued he turning his eyes to the book _"I don't want to know"_

_"Why is that?"_ Asked Dean curious

_"Because having your brother goes gay for one of your friend is enough to digest for a month"_ Mocked Sam, Dean made a serious face

_"That's so not like that, Dude""_

_"So how is like?"_ Asked Sam curious _"No, please don't answer that!"_

_"Funny"_ Replied Dean finishing up his sandwich, Sam laughed _"Did you find something useful?"_

_"No yet"_ Said Sam taking another book from the table _"Will you go see your boyfriend?"_

_"He is not my boyfriend Sammy"_

_"Ok, your friend with benefits"_ Laughed Sam, Dean made a serious face

_"Yes, I'm going to see him…"_

_"Don't you think you shouldn't see him so often, Dean?"_

_"Why?"_

_"Because it kind of blows his hiding place cover up if you go there all the time"_

_"I don't go there all the time"_

_"You went yesterday and you are going today too, Dean"_

_"So what?!"_ Said Dean standing up and putting his leather jacket on _"Can't I just see him because I want to?"_

_"No, Dean"_ Continued Sam concerned _"Look, I get that you and Cas are closer now; But what if a demon or worse an angel finds out where he is?"_

_"Then I'll deal with it"_

_"Dean, it getting dangerous"_ Continued Sam trying to put some sense into Dean's head_ "Wait till we have a way to protect Cas, or at least don't go"_

_"But I already told him I was coming Sammy"_

_"Then tell him you aren't, please Dean, Cas is safe for now"_ Sam smiled while padding Dean's shoulder, Dean made a serious expression and took his leather jacket off.

* * *

_"So, you aren't coming?"_ Replied Castiel over the phone

_"No Cas, I'll put you in danger if I keep coming to your place"_

_"I understand"_ Continued Castiel while pilling up some boxes on the storage room _"Then I'll talk to you at night, right?"_

_"Yes, Cas… I'll call you later"_ Replied Dean a little disappointed, Castiel just smiled _"Later"_

_"Later Dean"_ Replied Castiel hanging up the phone

_"Steve, I need you to fix the ice cream machine again"_ Said Nora walking into the room

_"I'll be right there"_

_"Thank you"_ Replied she smiling _"I'll have to take my baby to the hospital, you can call it a day"_

_"Thank you, Nora"_ Said Castiel while she left, he cleaned the counter and when he was about to close a tall man just came inside the shop _"Sorry we are closing"_

_"I just need a cigarette's pack, young man"_ Continued the man on the counter _"Lucky strike"_

_"Here"_ Said Castiel handing him the pack, the man turned to him and smiled

_"So this is where you have been hiding, right?"_

_"Excuse me?"_

_"Don't play the fool, Castiel"_ Continued the man turning his eyes black as the abyss _"The Queen needs you"_

_"Demon!"_ He replied _"Leave or else…"_

_"Or else what?"_ Laughed the demon _"You are powerless!"_

_"But I have a gun"_ Said Castiel pointing a revolver between this man's eyes _"Flee or die"_

_"I have another alternative"_ Said the man puffing some smoke from his cigarette

* * *

_"Dean I need help!"_ Whispered Castiel thought the phone

_"Calm down Cas, what is going on?"_

_"Demons Dean, they are all over the store"_

_"How did they find you?"_

_"I don't know, but I killed one of them… Now I'm locked in the storage room"_

_"Stay there Cas, I'm coming"_ Said Dean hanging up

_"What is up Dean?"_ Asked Sam confused

_"Not now Sammy, Cas needs help"_ Said Dean running to his impala

* * *

Dean drove to the store and parked behind it, there are five demons three on the front side and two close to the counter. There was also a body on the floor maybe that was the one Castiel killed.

Dean just went ahead, walking towards the door, the demons laughed.

_"Alone, hun?"_ Said the one that looked like their leader _"You are more stupid that I thought"_

_"Who told you I'm alone?"_ Smiled Dean the two demons dropped on the floor shot dead, Dean shot the leader and quickly ran between the other two that got shot too. Dean smiled _"All clear"_ He shouted, Sam and Kevin came out of the bushes nearby and walked into the store.

_"That was some nice strategy"_ Said Kevin excited _"I didn't think it would work"_

_"Yeah, Sammy is a genius"_ Replied Dean knocking on storage room door _"Cas, are you there?"_

_"Dean"_ Shouted Castiel _"Help me"_

Sam kicked the door and Dean ran through it, Castiel was in chains on the floor. Dean looked at his eyes and embraced him, but before he could say a thing the storage's room closed shut.

_"You didn't think it would be that easy, right?"_ Said Castiel breaking the chains and holding Dean against the wall

_"Cas, what are you doing?"_ Asked Dean confused while Sam and Kevin tried to open the door without success

_"I'm not Cas"_ Said Castiel with his eyes turned black, a demon possessed him

**_"You let go of Cas, you son of a bitch"_** Shouted Dean

_"Dean what is happening there?_" Shouted Sam outside

**_"They got Cas, Sammy, they possessed him"_** Replied Dean looking at the door

_"Duh!"_ Laughed the demon _"We knew you would come, you are so predicable Dean"_

_"I'll love to send your ass back to hell"_ Replied Dean trying to break free from the demon's grip on his arms, but he was strong

_"No you won't, unless you want to hurt your friend here"_ Replied the demon, he was right, Castiel was human and he was there somewhere

_"Cas, you need to fight this, this isn't you"_ Replied Dean looking at his eyes, but the real Castiel was unreachable in that moment, the demon laughed and draw a knife out of his pocket

**_"Now you die!"_** Shouted the demon, Dean could hear Sam trying to kick the door

_"Cas, don't hurt me again, please… Cas"_ Whispered Dean touching his cheek with his fingertips, the Demon laughed, but he couldn't move the knife that stopped close enough to Dean's chest to only scratch it. _"Cas"_ Repeated Dean softly _"Cas, please"_

Castiel face light up for a second; he dropped the knife on the floor and let go of Dean; falling to his knees trying to get control of his vessel again. Dean held Castiel's face up with both of his hands and embraced him.

_"Cas, I know you can do it, buddy"_ Castiel looked at Dean's face and smiled shy, his eyes were filled with gratitude

_"Dean?"_ He asked in a low tone more like a whisper _"Help me"_

_"Cas, just hold on ok"_ Said Dean confused, what was he talking about? _"Be strong"_

_"Dean"_ He continued struggling with himself _"Stab me, he'll come back"_

**_"No"_** Said Dean in a painful way, this only world came out as a razor through his lips

_"Dean you have to stab me… I can't hold on, for much longer"_

_"Cas, I would never hurt you…"_ Said Dean embracing him _"Please don't ask me that, Cas"_

_"I'm so, sorry, Dean"_ Said Castiel faintly and all the suddenly the demon smoked out of him, Dean held him in his arms; Sam and Kevin ran inside the room; their expressions turned from worried to sadness. Dean didn't understand why, but when he looked to his clothes he realized that he was soaked in blood, red and warm blood. Castiel was unconscious; Dean prayed for it to be his blood, but it was Castiel's. Dean shouted an agony cry and held him closer painting part of his face red. **_"CAS, NO"_**


	10. Bloody Problem

Dean paced in circles around the room, his clothes dyed in red; His face worried and his arms hurting. Castiel needed a blood transfusion, but who knew Jimmy's blood type? It was a waiting game, which Dean played nervously. Kevin and Sam returned to the bunker, Dean refused to leave the hospital until he could talk to Castiel.

He knew that Castiel stabbed himself like Bobb did, Dean knew he would do it; he remembered telling Castiel that history about Bobb's possession. Now he was blaming himself, Castiel could have waited Sam to perform an exorcism, any alternative, but not that one. It was too late at night; at least there wasn't anybody on the waiting room, just him.

_"Hello"_ Said Dean picking up the phone

_"Dean"_ It was Sam's voice but there was something off with him

_"Zek?!"_ Replied Dean surprised

_"If you want, I can heal Castiel again"_

_"No"_ Said Dean trying to resist to say yes _"You are too weak, Cas will be fine"_

_"Dean, you know he may…"_

**_"He won't die!"_** Shouted Dean, he was about to cry **_"Don't you dare to say that!"_**

_"I'm sorry, Dean"_ Continued Zek

_"It's ok Zek, you've done enough"_ Replied Dean

_"You are his brother right?"_ Asked the doctor

_"Yes"_ Dean replied hanging up the phone "Is he ok?"

_"He lost too much blood"_ Continued the doctor_ "He is stable now, but I wouldn't keep my hopes high"_

_"Can I talk to him?"_ Asked Dean nervously

_"Yes, but I don't know if he'll be able to answer you"_ Replied the doctor, Dean followed him to Castiel's room, the doctor left and Dean took hold of Castiel's hand

_"Cas..?"_ He whispered, but Castiel in some kind of sleep_ "I don't know if you can hear me…"_ Continued Dean after a pause _"But I… I… Am sorry"_ Dean kissed Castiel's hand and smiled_ "I kissed your hand when you almost froze to death too… But I could feel your pulse; I'm too scared to even consider losing you… Now that I found you, please don't die"_

_"Dean"_ Castiel whispered, Dean thought he was hallucinating, but he heard again _"Dean"_

_"Cas..."_ Said Dean looking at Castiel's shy smile _"It will be ok, you are safe now"_

_"Thank you"_ Whispered Castiel closing his eyes, Dean smiled with hope that Castiel would recover, but would he?

_"Cas, I'll wait here for you"_ Whispered Dean on Castiel's ear _"I love you"_

* * *

_"Here he comes again"_ Said Crowley smiling _"Come back for more didn't you?"_

_"Yeah"_ Replied Dean handling Crowley some papers to him to translate _"Here"_

_"Thanks Squirrel"_ Teased Crowley, but Dean sat there in a chair in silence _"What is up? Did you fight with moose again?"_

Dean just ignored Crowley's joke and kept looking at the ceiling _"So now, you'll play that silent game with me, won't you?"_

"…" Dean stood in silence looking at his face, he was too tired to argue with Crowley, Castiel was in the hospital still in the same situation, Sam was watching over him

_"I see… Something happened with your boyfriend then?"_ Teased Crowley while translating to a paper next to him

**_"Shut up"_**

_"So something happened… Did Castiel die?"_ Asked Crowley with a smile, Dean made an angry face _"No? That's a pity!"_

**_"You shut your mouth!"_** Said Dean grabbing Crowley by his collar _"Translate that and be quiet"_

_"So he **IS** badly hurt"_ Smiled Crowley, Dean let him go and sat in the chair again

_"You know, you can set me free and I can fix your boyfriend"_ Said Crowley softly, but Dean ignored him, Crowley smiled, he knew Dean would give in to temptation soon or later

_"I'm not making a deal with you"_ Said Dean breaking the silence _"I'm not stupid"_

_"Yes, you are Dean"_ Mocked Crowley _"You know that if can heal your 'Cas', even so you'd rather to keep me here instead of making a deal"_

_"I don't need your help… Cas will be fine"_

_"Do you wanna take that chance?"_ Continued Crowley in a complacent tone _"And be the one that killed the only person you ever loved?"_

_"How do you know that?"_

_"Come on, Dean"_ Said Crowley laughing_ "Anyone with eyes can see you two are quiet taken with each other, the question is… Does he love you back?"_

**_"Of course he does!"_** Shouted Dean

_"Did he told you?"_

_"No, but"_

_"But you two kissed and that's enough… Because people only kiss if they are in love, of course! How couldn't I see it before"_ Mocked Crowley

**_"Shut up, your dick!"_** Replied Dean angry, Crowley Laughed

_"So, we have a deal or not?"_

* * *

_"Sam?"_ Said Castiel opening his eyes, Sam was sat by his side on the hospital _"Where's Dean?"_

_"He's at the bunker keeping an eye on Crowley"_ Replied Sam smiling, Castiel smiled back with some difficulty

_"How long I've been out?"_

_"It's been two days already... We told your boss that I'll keep an eye on you"_

_"Thank… You"_ said Castiel a little out of breath, he felt numb and weak _"Sam?"_

_"Yes?"_

_"How is Dean doing?"_

_"He is fine, Cas… Don't worry about him"_

_"Sam"_ Said Castiel after a cough _"Don't lie to me, please"_

_"Sorry"_ Replied Sam sadly _"He is a mess, but he'll be happy to know that you are awake"_

_"I feel weak"_ Whispered Castiel with a hoarse voice _"What the doctor said?"_

_"That you are stable… for now"_

_"That's ok, right?"_

_"I'll be fine"_ Smiled Sam and Castiel closed his eyes, Castiel slept, but Sam couldn't close him eyes… He was worried, what would happen if Castiel didn't survive? _"Cas, if I could help you… I would"_ Whispered Sam smiling sadly.


	11. Brotherly Problems

_"Morning, Cas"_ Said Dean holding Castiel's hand _"Do you feel better?"_

_"Yes, actually"_ Said Castiel on the hospital bad, he felt stronger

_"The doctor told me you are ok to go"_ replied Dean helping Castiel to get up the bed

_"Thank you"_ Said Castiel leaning on Dean's shoulders _"I don't get it; two days ago I was feeling so weak"_

_"Yeah"_ Said Dean walking Castiel through the door _"They found someone with the same blood type as you"_

_"I'm glad they did"_ Replied Castiel sitting on the passenger seat, Dean turned the impala's engine on and smiled

_"Me too, Cas"_ Castiel laid his back on the leather seat and smiled relieved

_"I thought I wouldn't make it, thank you for helping me Dean"_ Dean smiled and stayed in silence, Castiel knew that Dean was grateful. He cherished his silence like a form of flattery. _"Dean?"_

_"Yes, Cas"_ Replied Dean with his eyes on the road

_"Do you really love me?"_ Dean smiled

_"Yes, I love you, Cas"_ He said boyishly

_"I love you too"_ Said Castiel laying his head on Dean's shoulder _"Dean"_

* * *

_"Where's Cas?"_ Asked Sam walking into the living room

_"I put him to rest on my room"_ Said Dean eating a piece of pie _"What's up?"_

_"Dean"_ Said Sam seriously _"Did you make a deal with Crowley to Cas get better?"_

_"No!"_ Replied Dean angrily _"Do you think I'm stupid?"_

_"Then what the hell happened?"_

_"I don't know, the doctor told me someone came by morning and donated blood to him"_

_"That's not possible, Dean… Cas blood is rare, isn't possible for someone to just show up right when we need, what are the odds?"_

_"Don't you think I didn't think that Sammy?"_ Asked Dean placing his plate on the table_ "I did, but I can't afford to lose Cas… I love him Sammy, if that's means to overlook some lucky moment, so be it"_

_"Wow"_ Said Sam sitting on the couch _"At first I didn't think you were serious about it"_

_"I am, Sam…"_ Replied Dean crossing his arms

_"Dean"_ Said Ezekiel now_ "Castiel can't stay here… You know that"_

_"I know Zek, but he is healing… I can't drop him to sleep on a storage room, not now"_

_"You are just too close to Castiel to see it"_ Continued Ezekiel _"He'll put you in danger"_

_"I wondered…"_ Said Castiel walking slowly into the room _"Who brought me back from the dead"_

_"Cas!"_ Shouted Dean leading his shoulder for support to Castiel _"You need to rest"_

_"Brother"_ Said Ezekiel with a smile on his face _"I'm glad to meet you again"_

_"So am I, Thank you Ezekiel"_ Replied Castiel smiling, Dean held Castiel closer and worried, he knew Castiel was weak still

_"I was just returning the favor"_ Replied Ezekiel _"But it's too dangerous for me to be close to you, brother, they put a price on your head"_

_"I understand"_ Continued Castiel _"I see you are healing, Sam… does he knows about you?"_

_"No and we need to keep a secret, Cas"_ Said Dean worried _"Please, Sammy needs to be healed"_

_"Now everything makes sense"_ Continued Castiel smiling _"Why didn't you told me?"_

_"I was afraid that somehow you would let slip"_ Replied Dean embarrassed

_"Maybe it was for the best"_ Said Castiel chucking

_"There's only one way to settle that"_ Said Ezekiel_ "Dean You must go with Castiel and watch over him… I'll watch over your brother"_

_"It looks like a good idea, at least for a while"_ Replied Dean

* * *

_"So, here we are"_ Said Dean helping Castiel sit on the bed _"Sweet rented motel room"_

_"Thank you, Dean"_ Said Castiel laying on the bed, Dean laid by his side and buried his nose on Castiel's neck, his hand rested over Castiel's chest and a smiled rose in his face

_"It's the first time that I don't mind to lay on a motel bed with someone"_ Castiel smiled shy and held Dean's hand intertwining their fingers together

_"I've always wondered how it felt like… To hold your hand and feel like you feel"_ Dean hoped his leg over Castiel's body and intertwined his other hand to Castiel's hand, both face to face, gazed into each other eyes; they stood there in silence for a while.

_"It feels good, doesn't it?"_ Asked Dean breaking the silence, Castiel laughed softly and nodded _"If you weren't so hurt, I would make you feel better"_

_"That doesn't make sense"_ Said Castiel confused _"I don't feel that good, can you make me feel better now?"_

_"I'm talking about sex, Cas"_ Laughed Dean with Castiel's surprised expression

_"Oh"_ He said embarrassed, Dean kissed his forehead and stood up

_"You are really such a baby"_ Teased Dean taking his leather jacket off and walking to the bathroom

_"Is that bad?"_ Asked Castiel sitting up on the bed

_"No"_ Continued Dean taking his clothes off and turning the shower on_ "Just makes me need a cold shower"_ Dean smiled because he knew he confused Castiel again.


	12. Farewell, Big Brother

_"Isn't Dean in danger?"_ Asked Kevin translating the tablet on the library, Sam sat holding a heavy book and sighed

_"Maybe, but he won't leave Cas alone…"_ Kevin made a confused expression

_"Why not?"_

_"You wouldn't understand, Kevin, they are close"_

_"Close or together… you know, **together?**"_ Sam laughed, even Kevin realized about it, not that Dean was trying hard to keep the secret anyway

_"Yeah"_ Replied Sam watching the not so surprised Kevin's expression

_"Come on, Sam"_ Said Kevin laughing _"I'm Asian, there's a few things that I don't take notice of"_

_"Any thoughts about it?"_

_"No, it's not like they will behave any different now"_ Mocked Kevin, Sam laughed

_"Where's my brother?"_ Sam and Kevin turned their eyes to the door and a red haired shot guy was standing there, short Navy style hair, dressed in suit and tie, a blue tie, eyes like fire and a calm expression;

_"Who are you? How did you get in here?"_ Said Sam pointing a gun to him, Kevin hid himself under the table

_"Joel"_ He replied with a smile _"Where's Castiel?"_

_"Why would I tell you?"_

_"Sam… How would you feel if you lost your big brother?"_ He replied in a calm manner

_"Is that a treat?"_

_"No"_ He continued walking close to Sam _"The other angels are looking for my brother and I can't find him… Where did you take him?"_

_"How do you know all those things?"_

_"Sam, I have no time to answer your questions"_ Kevin hit him with a book, but Joel just smiled and putted Kevin to sleep only by looking at him

_"Joel… Brother"_ Said Ezekiel in a happy tone _"I'm glad to see you"_

_"Ezekiel?!"_ He replied surprised _"I thought you were dead"_

_"I'm not… Why are you attacking those people, brother?"_

_"I just need to get to Castiel, I wasn't going to hurt them… I'm not good with people, Ezekiel"_

_"I know, the angel of clarity… You found a vessel for you, you are lucky indeed"_

_"So have you, why are you in one of the Winchesters… you know who's vessel he is"_

_"I'm helping them, with Castiel"_

_"So it's true… My brother is alive"_

_"He is, Dean took him away…"_

_"Why I couldn't take to him?"_

_"Brother, Castiel is no longer an angel"_

_"So it also true then, Metatron went mad and made all this mess"_

_"Did you foresee it, Joel?"_

_"I refused to believe it would come true, when it did… It was too late, I'm sorry Ezekiel"_

_"Why you want to talk with Castiel?"_

_"I saw Bartholomew killing Dean before our brother… I can't let that happen"_

_"Here"_ Continued Ezekiel handing him Sam's phone _"You can call him and see where he is"_

_"Thank you Ezekiel, I'm afraid that's the last time we will speak"_

_"Brother let me help you!"_ Replied Ezekiel concerned, but Joel just smiled

_"No, brother, you need to watch over Sam… I'll rescue Castiel, farewell"_

* * *

Dean was unconscious on the floor and Castiel kept his Angel's blade on his hand, two angels stood there in front of him and a third was on the floor dead.

_"Poor Castiel"_ On of them mocked _"Now that you are human it will be easy to take you down"_

_"Bartholomew will be pleased"_ Said the other with his blade on his hand, Castiel smiled, both looked to each other confused, but before any of them could say a thing both exploded into a blast of light. Castiel stood up with a happy smile.

_"Joel!"_ He shouted, and Joel walked towards with smiling

_"Brother"_ He said in a sad low tone_ "I'm glad I could find you"_ Castiel embraced him, which he found strange, Joel wasn't used to human contact

_"Please, help Dean"_

_"Castiel"_ He continued looking into his eyes _"If I wake Dean, he will surely die"_

_"What you are talking about?"_

_"Bartholomew is coming"_

_"We will fight him"_

_"No, I will"_ Said Joel touching Castiel's forehead _"Farewell, big brother"_ Castiel's confused expression turned to pain and sadness, he knew that face before, Joel was his little brother; he raised Joel; but now Joel would give his life up to stop Bartholomew for a while.

* * *

_"Bravo, bravo, bravo"_ Said Bartholomew clapping his hands slowly_ "The little brother rescuing the big brother, I never liked your clarity powers, Joel"_

_"Bartholomew"_ Said Joel standing up

_"Where are Dean and Castiel?"_

_"I hid them, even from myself"_

_"That was unwise, little brother"_

_"Don't call me brother!"_ Replied Joel bringing light to his hand and shaping it in a spear

_"Oh, yes, the spear of destiny… I always wondered where it was"_

_"It was given to me, so I could stop you this day"_

_"So what is God planning, Joel?"_ He continued smiling _"He planned this entire situation, why?"_

_"He knew about your betrayal… Some of us still believe in him"_

_"Face the truth, Joel, God gave up… There's a vacancy now on his throne"_

_"Even now you betray him with your words and actions"_ He continued pointing his spear to Bartholomew_ "Are you so alike Lucifer that you think you could take God's place?"_

_"Why not? Isn't like he is opposing me"_

_"You've fell beyond redemption"_

_"And you are defending Castiel, you know he casted us down… All of us!"_

_"You know that isn't true"_

_"He had his share of guilty"_

_"And then you come to lay heavier burden on his shoulder instead of helping him"_

_"I'm doing God's work"_

_"You aren't God's messenger anymore"_

_"Not yet"_

_"Then there's nothing more I can say to you, Bartholomew… Your existence ends here"_

_"Do you really believe you can kill me?"_ He said snapping his fingers and suddenly four angels appeared

_"No"_ Replied Joel with a smile, he hit the butt of his spear on the floor and angels appeared everywhere holding swords and shields, a heavenly army was by his side _"I'm not alone"_

_"I know"_ Said Bartholomew drawing his blade _"Those four angels are Seraphim"_ A great fear filled the room when the seraphim ignited a fire like gold; seeing the fear Joel smiled

_"Brothers, fear not"_ He shouted_ "God's is with us, and if we die so be for the glory of his name!"_ A big sound like the sky itself was being torn apart began; the angels fought, brother killing brother, explosion and fire. The lighting cut the skies, silence….

The smoke rose up to the skies like it was running from the place, on his knees Joel stood there hurt with his spear in hands, the seraphim were slayed, but none of his brother survived; Bartholomew faced him a smile on his face.

_"Where is your God now? Where's your clarity?"_ Mocked Bartholomew taking the dust of his shoulder

_"Here it is!"_ Said Joel smiling and thrusting his spear on himself, Bartholomew laughed

_"So you are committing suicide?"_

_"This is a sacrifice"_ Replied Joel victorious _"I just needed you close enough"_ Bartholomew flew away as fast as he could, but as Joel died his light poured off him consuming the spear, the bodies and even part of the skies.

Bartholomew flew and almost died, he fell on the ground with a smiled _"You fool"_ He shouted observing the abyss that Joel's death created, it was a clear cut on the concrete, even the skies became clearer. _"You did all of this in vain"_ Continued him trying to walk but he noticed, his right wing wasn't there, Joel's plan was just to weaken him, shaming him, now Bartholomew was an angel without one of his wings. **_"JOEL!"_ **Shouted Bartholomew in agony, he knew he would never be the same.


	13. After Taste

_"CAS!"_ Shouted Dean waking up, he was laid on the bed and Castiel was sitting there in a chair, they were in another motel _"What happened? Where are we?"_

_"It's ok, Dean"_ Continued Castiel embracing Dean, but Castiel was broken, Dean could feel it

_"Cas, something happened?"_ Asked Dean holding him in his arms, Castiel hid his face on Dean's chest _"How can I help you?"_ Continued Dean holding him closer, Castiel just stood in silence and closed his eyes, placing his ear on Dean's chest listening his heartbeats;

_"You already are, Dean"_ Whispered Castiel calm now, he knew Joel was dead; he sensed the angels dying one by one, and it was like watching him killing angels all over again; Even being human he still felt it, it broken him in pieces, feeling his little brother die was worse than any death he could feel. _"It's just too much pain, Dean… Too much"_

_"Shhh"_ Whispered Dean holding him tighter _"Shhh"_ He whispered again rocking him slowly, Dean closed his eyes, he didn't know what happened; he knew that Castiel was hurting, this was enough to him be in silence.

_"Dean"_ Whispered Castiel breaking the silence _"You are hurting me"_

_"Oh, I'm sorry"_ Said Dean laughing softly; he was holding Castiel too tight _"I was too worried"_

_"It's ok"_ Continued Castiel smiling_ "I like it, Dean"_ Dean smiled and rested his nose on Castiel's head feeling his breath upon his skin, it felt like the silence was enough for both of them in that moment, any word could break this harmony.

* * *

_"What is up, Sammy?_" Whispered Dean picking up the phone, Castiel was sleeping in his arms like a baby

_"Dean, a crazy angel was here"_

_"Hold on, dude"_ Said Dean kissing Castiel's forehead and resting his head on the pillow next to him _"Cas is sleeping"_

_"Are you guys sleeping together?"_ Asked Sam suspicious

_"Hun… No?"_

_"Never mind, Dean"_ Said Sam after a pause _"Joel, is the name of this angel… He was looking for Castiel, but he made that sleepy thing on Kevin and me; and he vanished"_

_"He didn't show up here, but other angels came to kill us…"_

_"And what happened?"_ Asked Sam worried _"Are you or Cas hurt?"_

_"No, we're fine… One angel managed to knock me down, I just waked up to find Castiel watching over me, I don't know what happened"_

_"Did you ask Cas?"_

_"He isn't ok, Sammy… I let him sleep"_

_"So you guys ended up sleeping together, hun?"_ Teased Sam _"Good that something good came out of this war"_

_"We aren't sleeping together; we are sleeping on the same bed, that totally different dude!"_

_"So I'm right…"_ Mocked Sam, Dean made an angry face "_Dean, if something happens call me"_

_"I will, Sammy"_ Said Dean hanging up

_"Who was over the phone?"_ Said Castiel drowse

_"Sammy just called, he want to know if we are ok"_ Said Dean resting the cellphone on the nightstand _"Sorry to wake you up"_

_"Which time is it?"_

_"It's five A.M."_ Said Dean smiling, Castiel just looked like a child now _"You can sleep a little more if you like to"_

_"Dean, come closer"_ Said Castiel grabbing Dean by his collar and resting his head on his chest _"I just lost another brother, Dean"_

_"What are you talking about, Cas?"_ Asked Dean confused

_"Come closer and I'll tell you everything"_ Whispered Castiel with a sad smile

* * *

_"It's been two days… isn't Cas better?"_ Asked Kevin pilling other books on the table

_"Almost"_ Replied Sam a little upset

_"Are you jealous?"_

_"WHAT?!"_ Asked Sam surprised, Kevin had a serious expression on his face

_"You've been acting like it lately"_

_"I'm not… I'm just… Dean is spending much time with Cas, I got worried"_ Replied Sam a little sad, the truth was he was feeling a little jealous, he liked when Dean was around.

_"You know that they are together now, so I guess that is pretty normal… If there is a normal in this crazy story with the little brother angel"_

_"You can say that again"_ Replied Sam in a low tone _"Tomorrow Dean will be coming back"_

_"And Cas?"_

_"He'll go back to the store"_

_"I thought the demons found out he worked there"_

_"A small bunch found it out, but we took care of it"_

_"Then it's back to black"_

_"I guess"_


	14. One Day

_"This our last kiss for a while, Dean"_ Said Castiel on the alley close to the store, Dean smiled and kissed him slowly _"Promise you'll see me soon"_

_"I will, Cas"_ Replied Dean with a wide smiled, Castiel smiled back and touched Dean's cheek with his right hand

_"See you when I see you then"_

_"Yeah, Cas… See you"_ Said Dean walking towards his impala, Castiel turned away and walked to the store, but he stopped and turned back halfway there

_"Dean"_ He shouted, Dean looked at him _"Thank you"_ Dean smiled and waved, Castiel waved back with a smiled and turned away. Dean drove his impala away while looking at Castiel disappearing on the horizon.

_"Steve!"_ Said Nora embracing him _"I'm glad you are all right"_

_"Oh, Nora… I'm glad I'm back"_

_"Dean told me about the assault here by night"_ Continued Nora, but Castiel was too distracted with his thoughts about Dean. Nora realized that, but she just smiled and continued; she saw them on the alley, and she understood.

* * *

_"Sammy"_ Said Dean laying in his bed, Sam just walked into his room

_"Dean, are you ok?"_

_"Yeah, It's not like I lost Cas… Right?"_ He continued looking at the ceiling

_"No you didn't… One day you two will be together"_ Continued Sam smiling, he like that Dean was back, but not like this… He hoped that Dean would cheer up.

_"If you want to talk about I'm here"_ Said Sam turning away, but not before leaving a place with a slice of pie on his nightstand. Sam left with a smile.

_"Thank you, Sammy"_ Said Dean looking at the pie, he was kind of hungry. Dean's phone rang, it was Castiel.

_"Cas, is something wrong?"_ Asked Dean smiling, he wanted something to be wrong, so he could see Castiel again.

_"No, Dean… I just forgot to say something…"_

_"What is it?"_ Asked Dean curious

_"Am I your boyfriend?"_ Said Castiel a little bit embarrassed

_"Do you want to be?"_ Teased Dean

_"Yes"_ Replied Castiel

_"So, yes"_ Said Dean

_"Dean…"_

_"Cas?"_

_"I love you…"_

_"I love you too, Cas"_

_"See you soon?"_

_"I hope so, Cas"_

_"Dean, I... Don't know what to do now"_

_"Me neither, Cas" Sighed Dean after a smile "I know he gotta keep on pushing forward... looking for answers, you know?"_

_"I'll do it only if you stay by my side this time, Dean"_

_"I'm always by your side, Cas" Smiled Dean, Castiel laughed softly "You'll see, Cas... Someday our dream will come true"_

_"With a white picket fence and all of that?"_

_"Yeah, in a house by the sea"_

* * *

The End


End file.
